Okay so I’m 14 and going to try to enter a few fiction contest on a story I just wrote. can anyone tell me if Its good enough? Be completely honest. even if its mean… thanks =]
Once Upon a time, there were two magically charming people. These people lived in two different sides of the nation, and happened to cross each others path on one fateful day. Although they were two completely different people from two completely different places, their personalities complimented each other in almost every single way.
Vincent, a popular, charming man who came from the poor areas in a place called New Angeles. He was very independent and was street smart. Then there was Isabella, a rich, beautiful girl from a very elegant place call Los York. She has been sheltered and protected for most of her life. While Vincent was visiting in Los York for a week, the magnetic forces brought Isabella and He in the exact same place at the exact same time just to bump into each other. Isabella was absolutely mush when she looked into his eyes. Vincent tried to play things cool, but that was just a mask.
No doubt they had an immediate connection from the beginning. They exchanged emails and phone numbers, then went their separate ways. Vincent thought he would never hear from her again, how could a boy from the streets of New Angeles have anything to do with a rich girl like her? One week later and Vincent was back home. He found Isabella’s phone number and decided to send her a little text message. She immediately replied, this was a long road to their newly born friendship. They talk everyday, all day. They soon found out they shared the same interests and music. Although sometimes they had little disagreements and fights. Always to make up. Isabella soon discovered she was in love with Vincent, more than she was in love than the moon or the sea.
Vincent felt the same way, except there was a sort of problem. You see, Vincent had a longtime Girlfriend of many months, who he was equally in love with. She was also beautiful but there was something about her that was not quite right. She was an insanely jealous person. Vincent thought it was the right thing to tell his girlfriend that he was also in love with another woman. It was then her jealousy took over, she was determined and out to get Isabella. Isabella was confused on why Vincent would love a girl who was like that, and began to feel unimportant. She told Vincent that she couldn’t talk to him anymore, because she was starting to feel the hurt that they would never be together, and thought it would be the best thing to do and move on. Vincent was hurt and mad. After several months of not speaking and once everything was getting back to normal for Isabella, Vincent came back into her life.
Through those months, Vincent broke up with his girlfriend and realized he was very in love with Isabella. He drove all the way to Los York to prove his love and have an amazing day together, and surely it was amazing. After they said goodbye, she was finally happy Vincent was her new boyfriend and was so in love with him. Vincent though, was not too excited. He never knew how to make up his mind, and decided he could not stay with Isabella. Isabella was completely heartbroken, and months went by. One day, Vincent text messaged Isabella with a big apology and an explanation, but to Isabella everything was different now. She was finally over him, they used to be so close but could no longer keep the friendship or anything. Isabella was always the other girl, she could never be the girl. That is how it would stay for now.