Me And My Boyfriend Are In Love And My Parents Basically Hate Him. Help Please??
Me and my boyfriend [Juan] have been dating for awhile now. And my parents started off being ok with him, when we would go out to eat I would ask if he could come and then they would agree and let him come with us. Well me and him have only been getting closer and falling more and more for each other, while my parents are starting to not like him very much anymore. They’ve gotten to where they want me to leave him for something better, but I love him. But their both saying its putting my next few teenager years left with their approval in danger. Because they dont like him and think he treats me bad. And he really doesn’t. I love him, but I do want to be able to get my liscense and everything when it comes time and my own car, but their saying that I’m putting that option in danger because I’m with him. They both don’t really want to second chance it and actually really give him a chance I don’t think. But I’m too afraid to ask them about it. I want them to like him so I can hang out with him more, but now Their saying I’m about to not be able to see them very much, unless I go to a friends house every single weekend then we go where I can see him. Or I act as if we have broken up but really havent then maybe I can see him more until they accidentally find out. :/
Any suggestions on exactly what I should do with this situation, I’ve tryed making the best out of it and get to go places and everything but now its gotten to where I don’t have any clue what to do anymore. None what so ever.
So I need real advice and pretty quick before we give up and I loose him.
which is the only thing i comepletely wish doesnt happen.
Help please?
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Hi, You are in a tough spot!
Although it might be tempting to sneak around, I wouldn’t recommend it. If you get caught, you risk losing your parent’s trust in you. Plus you will feel guilty about the lying and sneaking.
You don’t mention too much about Juan. Has he done anything to make your parents feel less trust in him? Be honest with yourself here.
Have you been coming home late when you go out with him? Or have you been going on and on to them about how much you love him etc. That can be scary to parents.
If you both truly to care for each other, then I suggest a more straight forward approach.
Instead of trying to go “out” with Juan, ask if Juan can come over to your house.
Like say on a Saturday for lunch. Have Juan bring something too, like some chips or cookies. He can’t be shy here either. He should offer to help your dad do something, like mow the lawn, wash the car, or whatever your dad might be doing.
Don’t have Juan go to your bedroom or try to spend time alone with him.
He should leave at the right time too.
This can be the chance to have your parents get to know him better, and therefore gain more trust in him.
Ask if he can come over again, like to watch a movie or something.
Keep having him spend time at your house with you and your parents/ family. He can ask your parents if he can take you out to a movie. Have him tell them what time he will have you home, and then stick with that.
If this is something Juan doesn’t want to do, in order to spend time with you, then maybe your relationship isn’t the greatest thing after all.
I wish you both the very best of luck!
I hate to say it but often parents do really know what’s right. However.
If you really, really believe that they’re wrong about him and that he’s always been good to you, you should just forget your parent’s well-meaning blackmail. I say so because if they manipulate you once, they’ll keep using that tactic.
Your parents has already taken this trip or they wouldn,t object. I would respect my parents wishes because they love you. of course, you parents need to listen to your wishes and give you limitations. after all, everyone has to make their own mistakes.
if ur parents were smart parents they’d and they allow you to do date but they dont allow this guy then they know that there is something fishy about him..
sit down and have a talk with them and have them explain why they dont want you to see him..
you need to give more details about what he’s like and if he looks respectable or not. Also say if he is polite to your parents but don’t lie because if your parents find out you can kiss your license good bye
What has he done that has upset your parents so much… If you let us know then we may be able to think up ways that he can fix the problem that they have with him.
well it sounds like you need to be on parental control and see if you find someone else your parents like.
It seems like your parents want you to slow down with this guy and for good reason. If you guys are really meant to be, then try being less committed and focus more on the things that you can only do now. You have plenty of time to fall in love in your 20′s and you shouldn’t get so wrapped up in Juan. If you don’t beleive me, see how fast he’ll move on to the next chick when you guys break up.
Well, I’ve been in this position couuntless times… and whenever my parents didn’t like a bf, they were right and I didn’t realize it until me and the bf broke up. I guess I too was too “in love” to really see that the guy was just using me or whatever. Haha
But then again, if your parents are just being assholes… I dunno what to tell ya. I have also tried to sneak a relationship with a guy they hated, and the relationship turned to ****. It’s really hard dating a guy your parents don’t approve of. Even if he is a good guy that your parents can’t see… your parents will always try to forbid you to see him… and if they’re anything like my parents, they will do whatever they can to split you guys up and end up on top.
You could try talking to them, but it seems like they have their minds set. =/ if you say they are sick of you seeing him, and they don’t see anything else wrong with him, I would suggest talking to them though. If it doesn’t work, move on (I hate to say it… teenage love is so complicated! Haha) it’s just wayyy too hard to have a functioning relationship w/ a guy your parents hate.
Once you start lying to your parents and sneaking around, you can expect that they will no longer trust you. That is what they mean by you’re putting your options at risk.
Unfortunately, there’s nothing much you can do accept maybe ask them if he can come over when they are at home. That is the only way they will be able to trust you and get to see for themselves if he deserves a second chance.
Well if your parents are concerned you should address the matter with them and ask them what exactly has he done that they think is a danger to your teenage life or why they think he is mistreating you.
Make it clear that you want them to give him a fair chance.
they are your parents and they might not be being unfair they could be just concerned like every other parent.
your parents almost always know what’s best for you.
They know you better that you know yourself and if they tell you that he’s not good for you and you can do better that you probably COULD do better.
Listen to your parents. Your likfe wilol be much easier and will have much less fights if you do.
And who knows? You could be living the high life with a car, and an even better boyfriend who your parents love
MMM unfortunetly this is the possition we put our kids into. We try to make them do what they don’t want to do then they do what they want anyways and just lie to us.
I was your age once and remember going through that. Hell I am 37 and still go through it with my parents.
All I can say is what ever you do remember they will be punishment either way…
well dont spend so much time with him and spend more time with your parents then maybe they will like him more and you should respect your parents because they probley just dont want to have you grow up and/or leave(i dont mean really leave). you sould also respect your parents opinion and you should not sneak around cuz they will find out and will be hard for them to trust you and if they want and know you can do better just look and you parents will most likely be true.
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